and you may be asking yourself do you always come home and get a drink out of the fridge or a beer and the answer is not always but sometimes sometimes I do alright real talk real talk moment having a baby and the Nikki was traumatic and then I had postpartum depression and I only took six weeks of maternity leave and it was just an awful time in my life hello friends welcome back to my channel and welcome back to another video so today is Wednesday it is 5:00 p.m. I just got home from work I picked the children up today was their last day of school so we went and got ice cream after school today they are eating ice cream and cheese curds from Dairy Queen there was a turtle in the grass oh you were sad because because oh so do you get to go to first grade next year yeah you passed you passed yeah did you do you get to go to fifth grade today did really feel like summer it's probably probably one of the first days it really really really felt like summer cuz it was got up to like 92 anyway if you're new to my channel my name is Jen I'm a full-time working mom I have two kids Kira is 10 Connor is 6 and tonight I think I'm just gonna do like a cook and clean up the kitchen with me I have a home chef box downstairs that I need to get unpacked because it's been sitting on the porch all day um so I'm going to make that tonight and then I have quite a bit of cleanup to do in the kitchen so let me show you the outfit I wore to work today actually this shirt this top is new it's from loft and it's part of their infinitely loft program which is a sort of like it's kind of like stitch fixed after you get to pick out what you want and then they ship it to you and you if you want to keep this stuff it's half-price it's a nice shirt all right so this is like a tank top sweater I'll try and find it on their website and link it down below if you're interested in getting it for yourself and then this jacket is just from maurices and these pants are from torrid so I was trying to wear a sleeveless shirt today excited you it was going to be hot and I did end up taking it off throughout the day so yeah it's just nice to have like something in sleeveless so that if you get hot especially like while you're just sitting at your desk or like today I ended up going for a walk at work and on my lunch break and walked like almost two miles and then when I got back I was very hot because it was hot today and I was sweating I'm gonna go ahead and get my clothes change and go downstairs I'll show you guys when I end up cooking for dinner and then I think I ordered an extra meal for a meal prep which is like a salmon dish so I might end up meal prepping that for myself to for the next two days for work and I'm still at work he said he's not leaving until 5:30 I have a lot of messes to clean up in the kitchen so just come along with me and see what we do this evening to eat and prepare for tomorrow at work I'm out here in the garage taking the trash out and getting myself a cold mango white claw which by the way is the best brand of mango white claw and you may be asking yourself do you always come home and get a drink out of the fridge or a beer and the answer is not always but sometimes sometimes I do did that intro even make sense I feel like also sometimes after I haven't filmed a video for like three or four days and I do another intro I'm like it's like I have to learn how to ride a bicycle again it's like I fell off the wagon I don't know how to do it anymore which sounds ridiculous I know but sometimes when I get home like I worked a little bit late today and I got went and got the kids it's hot out so I'm already like crabby I just want to like get home and get my clothes off and like as soon as we walk in the door it's like mommy mommy mommy who's this for mommy why is this box here mommy what are we having for dinner what are we doing there's was this for who's this Lego for I'm like you're going to a birthday party on Friday oh yeah I forgot about that mommy can we do this tomorrow can you pack my lunch tomorrow can you bowl over it's like oh my god chill out like we just walked in the door I gave you food can you just chill and let me decompress for like 10 minutes before you start the barrage of questions does anyone else feel like that or is it just me or that does me that's why I'm outside talking to you all well they are they probably don't know where I am which is fine anyway I'm gonna have this cold beverage these are my plans tonight I'm gonna go inside I'm gonna get the dishes done I'm gonna cook dinner I'm gonna meal prep that salmon dish for our lunches or for my lunches because no one else needs a salmon just me but that's fine prep it for my lunches for tomorrow and Friday and then I really want to get a video uploaded tonight like I have a weekend prep video that I really wanted to post on Sunday today is Wednesday and I have been super busy with work and so I haven't gotten it done yet but that's fine we'll just we'll get her done tonight so that's what I have planned and hopefully I'm making sense I feel like I'm not making sense today but I don't I don't know what to say about that so if this is the first video you're watching of mine please know that I'm not always a scatterbrain and typically I mostly have my together not always but most of the time so we're gonna make dinner we're gonna clean the kitchen we're gonna try to get as much stuff done as we can my kids are out of school but that doesn't mean they still don't go to summer camp because we both work and so they don't get to stay home during the summer much to their dismay they have to go to summer camp which means then I still have to pack their lunches and get their clothes ready and I still have to get up because their life is super rough and this year there what about going to science camp because there's a stem camp or steam which by the way let me know if you've heard of steam instead of stem so it's science technology engineering math but now they've added art in there which my husband is an engineer is not too keen about but you know you just have to deal with it so the school district is having this like free stem camps this summer is 4-6 weeks long it's absolutely free they get breakfast they get lunch like why would I not sign them up for that and now they're complaining that they don't want to go to it they just want to go to summer camp they don't want to go to this because it's gonna be just like school well guess what tough toenails because I have to go to work and you're not just gonna sit here and play on your iPad all day you're gonna do something that's going to further your academics so now I'm a mean mom it's fine me and mom's unite let's go can't show you guys when I'm working with for dinner tonight if you have watched my videos before you know that I have partnered with home chef to do sponsored videos this is not a sponsored video my contract is actually up with them I do continue to get home chef some weeks just because I want dinner inspiration it's really nice like something for me to look forward to I always get it on Wednesday and so like I look forward to just not having to think about when I'm gonna cook and just having everything sort of set out for me when I get home so if you guys want to try home chef like I said no pressure anything but I do have a $30 off coupon code you can use and so there's a link down below for that you can try it out if you don't like it it's super easy to cancel on their app I use their app all the time and I love it it's easy to like cancel or skip weeks or whatever you want to do so this is what I'm making tonight which is the chicken Kiev with goat cheese butter probably the kids aren't going to be too happy about goat cheese butter and then this comes with broccoli here are the chicken breasts this is still fairly cold even though it was over 90 today so that's good got four portions so two bags of that and then one bag with just two portions of the brown mutter sorry brown butter I can't talk I told you I'm off my game today brown butter tomato relish salmon with wild rice so this is something that I can cook for my self and meal prep and I'll like really look forward to eating it at work tomorrow and the next day and then I did also get a smoothie I've just been getting these for the kids because I feel like it's something fun for them to have so it's two servings in that bag right there so the first thing I need to do because I really have a hard time cooking in a dirty kitchen is address these dishes that I have left over from last night these are clean I need to put those away and then I do have some clean dishes in the dishwasher I need to put away as well so let's take care of that it is almost 5:30 but since the kids had their little snack of cheese curds and ice cream they should be able to eat a little bit later and not get too hungry usually I try to serve dinner around 6:00 especially for the kids and then they take a bath at 7:00 and then they go to bed at 8:00 now they do stay up in their rooms for a little bit longer reading which I'm totally fine with but definitely at 8 o'clock they're in bed their phones are off their iPads off and their reading until they go to sleep so alright let's do this your favorite song night is young you've got me goin on every single baby it's my heart someday wrap my arms around you sweep me off my feet you know you track me getting into trouble but I just want to be because you're making me feel I get really really pissed at myself when I have to come home and do dishes before I cook dinner but oh alright it's done let me show you guys something have you heard of so I've seen them before on YouTube and going into summer I always feel like I need like way more snacks in my house because we're like we're going to the pool and my kids are always super hungry and so I did place an order from them and I'm pretty happy with what I got so let me show you some of it before I start cooking dinner if you guys have tried it before let me know what your favorite things are to order because they have a ton of stuff and I really enjoy like getting all this stuff delivered to my door rather than having to go to Costco and get it so just a second ok so not all of what I got but some of it I did get a 4 pack of these imagine cheese stars which I've seen before on videos but I'm not tried my god they're so delicious like these white cheddar ones I ate a bunch of them last night before about they were so good I got some of these Vermont meat sticks some nuts so like almonds walnuts and cashews and then I also got some of these rice cakes I've been getting like if I can help feel healthier alternative to chips so cheddar and ranch and barbecue so we are stocked up for awhile I get started on this dinner I think I'm actually going to do the broccoli like steamed if instead of roasted because I don't want to turn the oven on because it is hot and too well I might have to turn the oven on for this salmon I'm not sure well I don't know either way my family doesn't really like roasted broccoli they'd rather have it steamed so I'm gonna get that washed up and in the microwave and then start making the chicken so this recipe calls for pounding out the chicken and it says to remove it and put it in a ziploc bag and do it but I don't really see the sense in doing that since it's already in a blister pack so I just have a meat mallet and I just pounded it with the flat side and then I have my broccoli over here I'm gonna let that sit in the water and just sort of wash off and rinse off for a second I've got two skillets canola oil in one to fry up the chicken and then the other one I'm just going to put the broccoli in with some salt and pepper and water and steam that way so I've got that broccoli in the skillet and I'm just gonna go ahead and set the garlic in there and season it with salt and pepper and steam it that way the original recipe said to roast it but since I'm not going to do that I'll just steam up the broccoli with it a chicken is pounded I took it out of the package and seasoned it on either side with salt and pepper and then you whisk the flour with a little bit of water just to make like a batter here's the panko bread crumbs that I seasoned with salt and pepper and I put a little bit of dried parsley in it just because I had some in my cupboard I have the canola oil heating up to fry the chicken and then my broccoli over here is heating up so I have some corn salad in the fridge that Adam and I will probably eat with this but I'll probably make the kids some mac and cheese on this side but anytime I do chicken like this or any meat that I have to bread I always do it like right here by the stove kind of just make up an assembly line so you can go right from you know your chicken into your breading into your oil and then I will get a plate back here on the stove with a paper towels to drain the grease off these will probably have to be done maybe two at a time I'm not sure if I'll be able to get all four of them in there but all this stuff came in the bag flour the canola oil everything came in it which was nice I don't have to add anything of my own okay so here's the chicken I tried it turn out good do you like the chicken it's good okay broccoli I put some cheese on it I put cheese on your tire and some corn salad this is the goat cheese butter so I just mashed up the goat cheese with the butter I'm the only one's gonna eat that so at 7:45 the kids are showering right now I have the recycling and trash I need to take care of things up below that I can't talk Adam is upstairs doing his workout so I'm gonna take care of this real quick all right real talk real talk a moment I'm sitting out here on the front porch so well before I say this I know I mentioned earlier that Adam was inside working out he has actually taken quite an initiative – sorry I was like waving in our neighbor hi driving by he's taking quite an initiative lately to start working out at home he bought this home gym thing on Amazon and he's he got a Fitbit and he's using My Fitness Pal and he has been losing a little bit of weight and so it's been motivating for me and I'm really happy that he's doing that and I've been really trying to encourage him and just be supportive and stuff so anyway after I ate supper I just felt so tired like I hope I don't I don't think I complain about being tired a lot I hope I don't anyway I think recently I've just been more not necessarily stressed out but just felt like more pressure like at work just because I've been taking on more responsibilities and not that I'm like under pressure and anything's like super stressful but just by nature of having more things to do you know there's sort of like that pressure I put on myself to get everything done and get everything done well and all that stuff and then just with all this YouTube stuff really sort of like ramping up I'm just trying to figure out a way to balance it all and get enough sleep and just not get stressed out about things because I'm really not a person that wants to get stressed out about that stuff and I haven't really talked about this before on this channel but I have been you know I was diagnosed with postpartum depression when I was after I had Kiera she was a NICU baby and I had had a miscarriage before that and so it was really sort of but that was traumatic and then having a baby and having a baby in the NICU was traumatic and then I had postpartum depression and I only took six weeks of maternity leave and it was just an awful time in my life and I mean it got to the point where I was clinically depressed borderline psychotic and suicidal and I don't say this to like get sympathy or anything like that because it was just something that I had to walk through and I'm sorry my Fitbit is buzzing something that I had to walk through and finally get help and anyway so I've been ant on antidepressants for a very long time and after I had Connor I had to start taking another antidepressant that helped the first one be more effective and I just always had a really hard time with babies and having babies and the whole thing was just very difficult it's very difficult for me and I can go into that more in another video if you want me to but the point I'm trying to say is that like I have been diagnosed with clinical depression and still to this day I take antidepressants and I don't fear talking about that because there's no shame I don't fear judgement you know having depression is something that happens when the chemicals and your brain are messed up just like if you have a headache you take tylenol or if you have high blood pressure you take medication for that so to me it's no different than another medical issue it's just a brain chemical issue and I'm fine with that and I see a psychiatrist and I see a therapist or any two and so on and so so for the most part you know I'm pretty stable person you know I don't really have that big of an issue with anxiety I feel like anxiety is sort of like a buzzword right now and I don't mean to make light of people that really have anxiety because I have had panic attacks before and I know how that feels that I do feel like in our society today it's like an overused term like a lot of people a lot of us have just like low level stress and I think some people consider that anxiety and maybe for them it is but anyway I'm I guess what I'm trying to say is like I'm not by nature like a really anxious person I mean there are times when I have trouble sleeping and I will take you know an anxiety medication to sort of like call my thoughts down before I go to bed but that's very rare that I have to do that anyway what I'm trying to say is that there's just there's a lot of no I have change well I mean there are some changes in my life right now I feel like you know like my kids are getting older and they're getting more independent and because of that I'm able to do more at work I'm able to do more with my hobbies and YouTube and really this is sort of turned into like a small business the type thing sorry there's bugs out here and so I don't really have all the answers and I just like felt like I was getting emotional for whatever reason and it's probably just because I haven't been getting a lot of good sleep because I just have been staying up late give me too many things and waking up too early and going to work so I just had to take some time and sit on the couches Adam and I said I feel like I'm gonna cry and he's like why I'm like I don't know I said I cut my grass and so I thought you know what this video I'm not gonna do it but then I sat with him for a while and just kind of like watched some mindless HGTV I don't know son HGTV property brothers I don't know what channel that's not really watched TV you know and I just sat there for a little bit cold with him watch TV and then after about you know 45 minutes I I felt a lot better so I don't know really I was where I was going with that I was just gonna say that you know there are times when I do struggle with sort of keeping my life balanced and my emotions in check and you know we're all we all struggle with things at times and so anyway I was gonna stop filming but now I'm not because I'm okay I think I'm okay I'm alright and yes I've been taking my meds but seriously let me know if you want to know about my whole journey with the you know pushed perm depression and miscarriages and babies and it's quite it's quite a long story but I always like listening to people's stories like that because you know motherhood is not always and an easy journey for all of us I'm like a lot of times when I was going through that people would say actually every moment and I was like are you kidding me like I am miserable right now like I am literally miserable and you're telling me to enjoy it it goes by so fast I'm like all I want this baby to do is sleep through the night so I can sleep like you know I don't know some people probably comb a bad person for saying that but I mean I just I'm not a person who likes a baby stage at all at all at all at all at all at all I love the age my kids are right now Cara's starting to get a little smart smart alecky and look a little bit an attitude but you know she's going in the preteen stage so I like I mean I like it a little bit you know I like I like the spunk but that's all I have to say for now I haven't decided whether I'm gonna go inside and cook that um salmon meal yet so we'll see but it is almost 8:30 so I'm gonna go inside and put the kids to bed and then all decide what I'm gonna do next all right so I think Adam went in and he must have he must have got the kids in bed because I just came inside and they were not here they were upstairs they're upstairs in bed so anyway the dishwasher appears to be done so anytime it's the cycle is done running I stick like a hot pad in there so that the steam can come out because my dishwasher doesn't dry things the best so it's a thirty I think I am gonna try to make this um salmon really quick so I can have it for lunch for the next couple days so it says to cook the rice first it comes together in this packet and you have to boil it for like 20 or 25 minutes so I'm gonna go ahead and get that started first go ahead and rinsed off my salmon and patted it dry I have it on this lovely Harry Potter paper plate and then this is just a skillet with olive oil and season it with salt and pepper so now I'm gonna put it in the pan and it cooks that up okay sorry it's kind of loud because the exhaust fan is on but I minced up parsley and the garlic and then I flipped over the salmon I'm just gonna crisp it up on the other side and my rice is so simmering I also washed up the cherry tomatoes and a slice those in half this is actually a super quick meal I remove the salmon to a plate and to the skillet I added the butter tomatoes garlic parsley a little bit of olive oil and salt and I'm going to let that cook for a few more minutes and then I will add this grainy mustard sorry I want to focus anyway you can take my word for it that that's mustard and then stir that up and then I will go ahead and put it into some meal prep dishes after the rice is done cooking with the salmon and the tomato relish and then I'll garnish it with the rest of the parsley Adam I made you salmon to take to lunch tomorrow it looks delicious started things really were simple you know if you trap me here's here's lunch for tomorrow they're having cheeseburger at summer camp and she doesn't like that so I have some turkey some turkey pepperoni goldfish grapes cheese one of these little fruit bars and then I don't know what else I'll give her maybe a granola bar and some yogurt or something like that all right French so it is now the following night after work and I totally forgot to close out this video last tonight so I am doing so today did not do anything else exciting except work on finishing out my weekend prep video which posted today so that'll probably the most recent one that you guys have seen but thanks for following us along today on our after work and I hope you enjoyed this video and I will see you at my next one bye into trouble but I just wanna be brother because you're making me feel

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  1. I adore you and find you so inspiring and calming. Hard to describe but I watch you throughout the day for your honesty about the challenges of daily life and how to meet them… Can I just say Conner is so precious and adorable and I can see how much he loves you and you him. I love listening to his innocence. BTW, you clean like me and give me inspiration to be impeccable. I love to cook like you and workout a couple hours a day but at 55 to stay lean and muscular cant do a lot of cheating like I used. With great gratitude the way you share so honestly about your personal life and your desire to help others. It's inspiring!!!

  2. I'm currently walking thru ppd… Thank you for sharing this with us❤ youre so so brave in many ways. Thank the Lord I am getting better but its hard some days … It's nice to kno other peeps get the struggle.. I prefer toddler too and baby stage is so much lol… Gah I so get that!!! Jen ur a boss!! and yes please share ur journey as much as youre comfy to share❤❤❤

  3. I loved this video! Thanks for opening up and sharing and showing your real life and struggles. So now time for real talk did you say you washed your salmon but you don’t wash your chicken? WHAT! Lol 😝

  4. Hi Jen, I started with Home Chef because of how good you made them sound and look with your great skills. So far so good. I'm really pleased and so is my Mom. I chose to get 3 meals serving 2 every other week.

  5. "typically, I mostly have my shit together…" I relate to this. Mean Moms Club, let's start it. I can make t-shirts. And beer koozies. Thank you for sharing your journey with motherhood and depression, and to help de-stigmatize mental health care and medication. I'm glad you're taking a pause and reflecting on what you need to do for yourself. I love your meal delivery, I keep trying to find the right one, but the cost makes me anxious. I loved the video where you did the cost breakdown, that helped. ALSO, how many double-handled pans do you have?! I just noticed you have at least two – I'm so jealous! I never treated myself to that one, but it's coming soon. Do you think it's the most versatile pan you own? I see it in use a ton. Whatever you bleeped out from Adam and the salmon had me cracking up at my desk.

  6. I'm an engineer, I also taught STEAM. Art compliments STEM. Engineers who cannot express themselves effectively, limit themselves. You have to have some creativity and flexibility to be a decent designer and problem solver. Video games are a great example of STEAM – we'd still be moving pixels around if it was just about the code, not design.

  7. “Tough toenail!!” Bahahaha that’s awesome! You’re so funny!
    I have those days too, and I don’t have children. I have a husband, a cat and a dog.
    I have also been diagnosed with depression and anxiety. Panic attacks are the worst. Feel like you can’t breathe or anything.
    I am on medication for it and it does help a lot.
    I don’t think it’s a hush hush topic because I know so many people struggle with it. To me if I know I am not the only one who goes through what I do, it makes it easier to cope with.

  8. And this is why I love your videos so much. I totally understand the need to decompress after your workday but you instead get a million questions and things to do. Haha

  9. Girl…good talking in this vlog. First of all 6 weeks maternity leave is a joke!! Being a mother is the hardest job you will have but, your other job is hard too. I really love my YouTubers but, you all put a lot of pressure on yourselves. Make sure you are leaving some time just for you. Thank you for being honest about depression, anxiety and medication for these things. You help a lot of people when you talk about it.

  10. Do you ever have any issues with your Home Chef Box getting to warm in the summer months? I trialed the box once and when it came the ice was melted and the meat was warm 😩 I was even home when the delivery guy dropped it off so it wasn’t sitting outside my house all day.

  11. Thank you for your “real talk” about PPD. It’s so common and the absolute worst thing I have been though! Our lives are full of ups and downs- you are an amazing mother and an inspiration to all of us ♥️

  12. Thanks for being so honest. I had work related PTSD and it has bothered me how easily people toss words like anxiety around. Labelling regular life stress as anxiety minimises the true condition while at the same time not addressing the stigma around mental health issues. I am so glad you have support and care and are kicking life goals!

  13. Thanks for sharing about PPD. I didn’t go through it personally but I know women who have and it can be some big secret or something to be ashamed of. I hate that for them. We need to talk about it as moms and support each other!!! Also 6 weeks is total bullshit here in the states. We go through so much especially the first time as a mom-not just our bodies that need to heal but also everything else that you mention. Plus we are literally feeding a life from ourselves!!!! Ugh. Anyway, please keep the convo going!❤️😀

  14. Your strength is in the fact you can share your struggles and your story. Keep sharing, no judgement, no fear! ❤️❤️❤️

  15. Thanks for sharing. You need to take care of yourself. My husband is on meds for depression . Just a chemical imbalance .

  16. I would love to hear more about your journey with motherhood and postpartum depression! I had my first baby in October, she's currently 8 months old, I've been struggling with postpartum depression and am just now starting to feel a little bit better and have some good days. This is just not what I expected, I thought having a baby was supposed to feel happy and fulfilling, but I have just felt like a complete dumpster fire for 8 months. People don't talk about this enough! Would love to hear more from you on this.

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