Mindful awareness and wellbeing at workplace

Mindful awareness and wellbeing at workplace



today you in the past and you've always shouted back you respond you shout back and then afterwards you think oh no I shouldn't have said that why did I say that it's too later so when we're not mindful we have a situation we react to that situation and then the awareness comes in and that reaction comes from your unconscious mind so and that unconscious mind is all your habits and all your past experiences and all your past patterns but when we be mindful when we present in the moment that situation arises but we give ourselves this mindful gab and then we can respond so the awareness comes before our response so somebody shouts at us we're being mindful we have a choice either I shout back at them or I don't shout back at them but we have that awareness somebody shouting at me I have a choice I have this awareness now I can respond and you're responding from here you're responding from your conscious mind you're making a conscious decision okay I'm still gonna shout at them okay then you shout at them or you say to serve no shouting never works I'm not gonna shout at them so when we be mindful you have the stimulus your awareness comes first and then you respond from your conscious mind but you can only do that when you're being present in the moment when we're our mind is going backwards and forwards somebody shouts at us instantly we shout back from our unconscious mind because that's what we've always done but when you're in the moment when you're present you can catch that you can catch the awareness oh no I'm not going to shout and you may think that you know that awareness is a big gap it takes one sixth of a second to make a decision 1/6 of a second not even a whole second so it doesn't mean somebody shouts at you then you have to stand and just let it were over in your mind what am I gonna do what am I gonna do oh I won't shout back it isn't like that somebody shouts you one-sixth of a second we can decide not to do the awareness is there but it can only be there when we're present in the moment so most of the time we're on this autopilot we sleep walking through life and the sleepwalking means that we're not conscious of what's going on because we're not present in the moment so it's like driving driving the car you've when you first start to drive a car you're always looking at the gear what gear are my in and then after a time you don't have to look you know it's all stored in your unconscious mind I can just do it and then we just drive and our mind floats off and we think about holidays and we think about nice things and we think about the lovely weather and then all of a sudden oh I'm here and when you left – when you're there your mind does not be mindful the whole time you've liked being sleepwalking and that's what we like through life we just walk in through life like this we're missing what's going on around us because we're not present in the moment we're not making good decisions because we're reacting instead of responding so mindfulness gives you the opportunity to take control back of your life to take control of your environment to take control about how you respond to things how you act but again we can only do this when we're present in the moment when we're daydreaming or sleepwalking we can't we're like zombies and that's how we go through our day and particularly if you come into work at the same time every day and you do the same job every day and you see the same people every day and the same people are saying the same things every day of course our mind gets bored and so then our mind starts wandering off and telling little stories to ourself just to give a little bit of interest but if you're present in the moment when you're driving into you'll see different things this tree is different now all the leaves are out on the tree I'll look at this bird but because you're not there you're missing all of that when you come into work yeah maybe you see the same people but those people are different they have different emotions on different days different feelings but you're missing that because in your head oh yeah that was the same person as yesterday so it can make your life more interesting and it can make your life give you more control of your life when you're being mindful when you're bringing yourselves back into the moment so that's what mindfulness is mindful in a nutshell is that our minds but our minds are in the present they're not in the future or in the past we're just accepting and acknowledging what's going on and we're doing it in a non-judgmental we're not judging so this is another thing that we are greater I mean there's two things we don't have to be taught in life one is judging and criticizing and one is controlling these are skills that nobody teaches us at school their parents don't teach it but boy are we good at it you know we could get a degree in them or even an MBA in criticizing I mean we are that good at it so with mindfulness we're not doing that we're not judging this moment we're just being present with this moment yeah we'll have questions at the end okay so how does mind from this work so let's just quickly whisk through this there so there are three different parts of our brain so at the back part of our brain we have the amygdalas so this is in our reptilian the oldest part of our brain now whatever taking through our eyes whatever we see whatever we hear whatever we smell whatever we taste whatever we touch I remember these are the only way we can you know interact with the world through these five senses first of all they have to go through your amygdalas okay whatever when it comes into the brain they're always filtered through this reptilian part of the brain so because it's the reptilian part of the brain the oldest part it was there to keep us safe so you know many hundreds of thousands of years ago when there was wild animals it was that that kept us alive if we didn't have the amygdalas we wouldn't be sitting here now we wouldn't be a human race because we would have been wiped out so they had a great job to do and they still have a good job to do if you go to step out into the road and a bus is coming then you jump back without thinking oh it's a bus and it's big and it's coming fast by the time you think it it would have hit you so we step out and the amygdalas tell us jump back so we jump back like that so they're great at that so they're there to keep us safe so in that way they're good but in another way they don't know the difference between anxiety and stress and feelings have been overwhelmed they still see them as danger and once they sense danger they shut down and they don't allow information to come to to the front part of our brain where we do our thinking so when you go into an exam and if you if it's just me but when I was in school and I was rubbish and I would go into an exam and I wouldn't have studied anything and I turn the paper over and I'd read the first paper and then I would freeze I was like oh like that that's your amygdala your amygdala has made you free so all the amygdalas can do that's sure it's called your fight your fight or flight or freeze so when you got a wild animal come in you have these choices I'm gonna run or I'm gonna fight with it or you just freeze and just pretend to not move and how if it goes by you so you're a meatless do that and they do that to keep you safe but you don't want that when you're at work when you're under pressure at work and you've got a deadline and you've got to work hard and the more your working have the more stretched you'll be coming and the more stress you're becoming the more the amygdalas think this is danger I'm shutting down and then we can't think so at the one time at work where we really need to be thinking and really need to put all our effort into work we can because we've got stressed so mindfulness practices stops that and the breathing awareness practices I'll show you would stop this there relax them we call them the security guards because they stop and keep you safe but you know we don't want them stop him just when we're stressed or when we're under pressure so when we do mindful breathing it just relaxes them and when they're relaxing okay let the information come through and the second part of our brain is the emotional part of our brain so again when we become overly emotional when we become really sad or when we become really lonely or really angry then again we can't think straight all of us have been angry at some time or other and when we're angry we can't help it we just say things these things just come out of our mouth I mean later on we can regret them but they just can't because we're angry and it's again because no information is coming through to the front part of our brain so the emotion of the limbic system stops information going through again with mindfulness when you acknowledge and accept that I'm having this emotion at this moment it already starts to lose its power once you focus on something so once you focus on that anger it will suddenly go down if you start looking at your anger so if you start accepting okay you know I'm really lonely today so okay I accept that I acknowledge I'm lonely and I accept I'm lonely so what can I do to stop me being lonely so again mindfulness helps relax that limbic that emotional part of your brain so the third part of the brain this is where we want to be we want to be here we want to be in our prefrontal cortex or our neocortex because it's here we do our planning we do our organizing we do our creativity when you're at work this is where you want to be when you're in an exam this is where you want to be so when by doing mindfulness breathing we can relax our amygdalas and let the information come through when we're emotional we can acknowledge and accept and let the information come through once we let the information come through we can plan we can organize we can arrange we can sort things out but once the information has stopped getting through to here there's nothing we can do so when you get strict then you get more stressed because you're stressed and then that gets into anxiety and if you don't deal with that that goes into depression a depression is not a place where we want to be depression is a very very deep dark pit is really hard to get out of something so mindfulness practices helps us to not get anxious or if we are anxious and it gives us ways of dealing with that the schema so one of the so let's just quickly go through the benefits so the physical benefits of mindfulness improve your breathing so once your breathing slows down your heart slows now once your heart slows down it slows the blood down once that slows down your blood pressure slows down then you calm down so breathing is a huge part of mindfulness yeah it lowers your heart rate it improves your circulation it stabilizes your blood pressure you get a better and more peaceful sleep you know if you go to bed stress how you're gonna sleep what happens you know I'm at work and the sandwich going on and people have said horrible things to me I'm going to sleep I close my eyes what's the first thing that happens though start coming back why did that person say that to me I'm not like that why is that it were all these keep washing round in our head and we can't sleep so we're mindfulness if we've been mindful if we've dealt with everything then we get a better sleep so we use mindfulness for chronic pain and particularly for cancer patients so when people come with can't particularly people who have no hope people who are definitely going to die of cancer they tend to when we've got pain we fixate on it yeah you know your body you're not worried about your body at all at the moment you're sitting you're relaxed but if you had a bad knee or you had a bad back where's your thoughts your thoughts are there Oh pain pain pain and the same with cancer patients they focus on the pain so we've mindfulness we teach and ways of dealing with that so they don't focus on the pain so their life doesn't become just about the pain so it's very good for our chronic pain and it increases your energy levels there's nothing worse than being stressed and anxious because it just takes all our energy away from us we just can't be bothered to do anything so when we've dealt with that then of course our energy levels come up so the bend of the mental benefits are is an antidote for depression and anxiety it enhances empathy now compassion and empathy come as a natural part of mindfulness you don't have to practice empathy in compassion you know when we're talking to people we're not listening usually they're talking they've said one or two words and you think oh yeah I know what he's going to say so you stop listening to him and now you're thinking what I'm going to say back so now you're thinking I wish you'd stop talking so I can say it back so there's no empathy there but when we're being mindful we listen we listen and when they finish talking then we make it a decision in this 1/6 of a second and we talk back so and then because you're doing that then naturally empathy and compassion just building you it's just natural so they become a natural part of mindfulness you should try them you should try actually listening to somebody and particularly people who get on your nerves so maybe somebody at work who's always going on and on and on and on so then try to just listen to them because once you listen to mute rying to say to you behind all that rubbish they're talking maybe they're upset maybe they're sad maybe they're trying to put a different point of view across but because you're not listening you miss the point remember communication isn't just about words it's about body language it's about posture it's about eyes yeah so give it a try so it decreases irritability and moodiness because we're in control of our life it improves our learning ability and memory because we're from here so what happens is that when we learn from hearing if we allow ourselves to think a moment and reflect you will go to our hippocampus which is our long-term memory this is just short-term memory if we just stop here then it won't go through so if we just think about things we read some things think about it for a moment it will go to your hippocampus and it will stay with you it increases our emotional stability and it improves our self compassion so I said to be about empathy and compassion that was for other people but it also improves our own self compassion because we get to know ourselves you know once you've stopped and acknowledged and accepted something you're actually looking at yourself and then you can say to yourself so why am I feeling like this what can I do to help myself that is self compassion and if you want to be a compassionate person first you have to have self compassion because if you don't have compassion how are you gonna give how can we give something we don't have so self compassion is so important we must start with ourselves and I'm not talking about you know narcissism like President Trump or something like I love myself it's about being accepting myself and you know getting to know myself not getting to Ford in love with yourself here that's different that's not mindfulness so the biggest cause of our emotion and physical pain these days is stress and a lot of that stress is in the workplace now I mean I don't know here are you stressed so you like everybody else in the world then yeah everybody disc wandering maybe you're bossy super aggressive you know in this day and age there are so many people there are more people than there are jobs so that gives us stress we know you have to perform we know we have to keep our jobs and the you know your companies doing something there are lots of other companies around the world doing the same thing so they have to perform so that's straight so what causes us the the biggest amount of stress in our lives which then that stress makes us physically ill and also emotionally sick so the best way to deal with stress is to stop little rising in the first place yeah I mean if it arises then we have to deal with it but if we keep doing that it's like we're trying to put out the fire the whole time we let the fire start and then we'll put the fire out so it's best don't start the fire in the first place so this can be achieved by meditation so I'm going to teach you this breathing awareness meditation so you can do it in the mornings yourself five or ten minutes a day it says 20 there I can see your faces I put it down five or ten again actually it doesn't matter the length of time is not the important thing in meditation what is important is regularity he's doing it every day we're trying to train the mind how could we train the mind if we're just doing it every now and again you know if you had a little you've got a little puppy and you're trying to teach it to see it and you only told it synthe every tuesday how will it learn to sit it won't your mind is exactly the same if you do meditation once a week twice a week how's the mind getting to know what it has to do you have to do it every day so the length of time doesn't matter you're not monks you don't have to sit for hours on end five or ten minutes is more than enough really as long as you do it every day yeah so that's one way of stopping our stress is doing meditation regularly another way is regular exercise so I don't mean you know going to the gym it doesn't have to be that you know if you live minutes away from here and then walk in the morning walk in and walk back that's exercise there if the steps you know if there's a lift don't take the lift go up and down the steps this is exercise the problem is with this culture that we live in now I mean we spend a lot of time on our phones a lot of time on the screen we're always looking down we're not moving we're not exercising and of course that's going to bring on stress so by doing just simple if you could do yoga in the morning along with your meditation it would be perfect but anywhere any type of exercise is going to stop the stress there yogurt you can't get away from me so yoga is also good I don't if you go go is it big here no okay then I'm gonna bring my yoga madam over and we're gonna make it big Yoga is a great thing to do because it's not over exercising it's not like going to the gym you know it's just a set of different routines of stretching and that and he's such a good thing to do so I mean if you can go online and see on YouTube some just basic yoga movement it is so good for you and of course mindful awareness so doing short practices of mindful awareness throughout the day is going to stop stress so it's not like pick one you have to do all of them or at least three of them yeah you can't just think which is the easiest oh I know I'll do mindful awareness you have to do quite a few of them so once you're feeling stress never try to push through it this is something that we have to learn we get stressed and we think I don't have time to be stressed I've gotta keep going I've gotta keep going actually all you're doing is just making these amygdala shut down and then you're never going to be able to do your work so instead of trying to push through stress stop and do something I'm going to show you a few different things you can do now and you can just stop five 10 minutes of just a few minutes just will stop that stress if you can just relax the amygdalas then you'll stop the stress you'll be able to think properly yeah but don't try to push through your stress and if if you do it will most definitely turn to anxiety and if you don't stop there it will definitely turn through to depression yeah you can't force keep force in the brain so technology is a wonderful thing you know just in my lifetime that technology is so different when I was a little boy we didn't have telephone not even in the hemp's there was one person in our road dekat one when I was about four or five and they will all have these rich people and nobody knew how it worked but and you could just pick up and you can just say can I speak to sense they would connect you through imagine and now look how technology is come on it's great but the brand-new working IT but the problem is evolution cannot keep up with technology it's gone if we wanted to catch up with the technology at this moment it would take us like another million years and we'll have a fourth part of our brain to be able to cope with the technology now so just imagine that year-on-year this technology gets faster and quicker and quicker in London now we've got 5g I mean it does it before you think about it now I mean it's so quick yes so then what's going to happen after that our brains cannot keep up they can't keep up with this technology so something has to give and if you keep trying to push through what will give is this your mind you'll have some depression or some mental illness so we have to stop we have to learn how to slow ourselves down you can't slow technology down we can slow ourselves down so we need time when we do in meditation and exercise and yoga and doing mindful awareness practices yeah because if you don't you're the one that's going to suffer and when you have depression there's no app for that let me tell you well not yet I mean there may be when I I what is it a I come there so let's look at some mindful awareness exercises then okay so we can start learning about our mind their habits and happiness by watching our breath so like I was saying before the breath is so important so the breath is the bridge between our mind and our bodies so if you slow your breathing down your body relaxes automatically and your mind calms down if you speed your breathing up the mind gets anxious and the body gets all stressed so the breath is the key so if we can just find exercises just to bring ourselves down just to focus on the breath and the breath is wonderful because he's always with us it's not that we have to go somewhere we have to buy something new in mindful awareness there's nothing to buy I know I said there's this mindful jewelry I don't know what it is but there's nothing we need to buy you don't have to buy new clothes you don't have to go and pray to any gods you don't have to do anything like that it's all about yourself and looking inward so the breath is the key the breath is that anchor whenever we go off and get stressed use the breath to anchor ourselves back yeah yeah so there's one exercise here the five six seven breath which is a great exercise you can do absolutely anywhere so we breathe in through the nose deeply so just imagine that you've got a balloon in your stomach and your breathing in and you blow that balloon up and that's your breathing in deeply you count to five and then you hold the breath for six and then you blow the air out through your mouth for seven and you keep blowing all the way through till seven so what you're doing is when you're breathing in really deeply you're bringing in lots of oxygen into your body when you're holding for six that oxygen is going all the way around your body through your bloodstream and through your mind your brain yeah and when you blow the air out for seven you're pushing out all that dirty stale air why at the end of the day you've been in an office all day and then at the end of the day we feel a little tired and a little it's because you've been breathing stale air and because we don't breathe properly we breathe in but we don't breathe out enough air so what you're doing is trapping all this dirty stale air in you so by doing the five six seven breath what you're doing is you're breathing in good oxygen it's going all the way around your body and then you've blown it out through your mouth getting out all that old stale air if you do three four or five of these most definitely your mind will calm down now I taught my sister this five six embrace she had cancer and she had her kidney out and then the cancer spread to her spine so she had lots of operations lots of problems she's still alive with it and I talked to the 567 breath and I said whenever you start to get stressed or you start to too much pain or you can't go for you feel like crying do the five six seven breath and it got her all the way through there and she still does that and even when she had her operation she did that and when she come out from the operation but after taking the kidney she just kept breathing and the doctor said to her you know do you want more pain killers and she was like no and she did the kick doing the 567 breath so don't think you know he doesn't work try it for yourself most definitely it works yeah and he's such a simple thing to do if you're in a big traffic jam I don't know if you have to be traffic jams here but maybe down in Tim will you do so instead of getting angry just do the five six seven breath and for our friends from India when you're sitting at the traffic lights and it's 90 seconds and then eighty nine in you're counting down instead of that do the five six seven breath relax the counting down will come automatic so in the time it takes for us to do a full breath in and out we can change our perspective that's what I'm saying I'm gonna get angry okay now I'm not so and it works like that because what it does we can only think of one thing at once so when I'm thinking I'm gonna get angry then I'm gonna get angry but they're nothing oh no I'm gonna breathe so then I'm watching the breath come in and I'm holding and I'm watching the breath go out now I'm not thinking about anger I'm thinking about breathing so now I've already taken my thinking away from anger and put it on to breathing so that means our perspective changes we can change our outlook so the breath is that important to us so we use the breath I said them so okay so people say no first of all how many people meditate here how many people have meditated now you meditated the second okay now who doesn't regularly that always cuts it down yes okay so a lot of the time why people don't meditate is because they don't understand it now in India they've made it into such an art they've got seven chakras and the kundalini's and we've got all these things and then he just puts people off meditating meditation the point of meditation is to focus your mind on one thing that's the whole point of meditation that's how meditation relaxes us that's how meditation cons and minder that's how we're able to do analytical meditation and look at something clearly because we're focusing on one thing now our mind is going here am i goes they were always distracted we're always on the phone and always people talking to us yeah so our mind is always jumping all over the place so with meditation we're just focusing on one thing that's it that's the key to it now you don't have to sit on the floor cross-legged and not Yogi's you can sit on the chair these chairs are not good by the way sit on an armless chair why these chairs are not good is because if you sit like this and your arms are going to be up then your arms are soon going to go to sleep and then you'll be thinking my arms have gone to sleep and you won't be thinking about meditating so an armless chair but you can do meditation anywhere ization means you just focus your mind on one thing if you can keep your back a little straight that's good because just so we can breathe you know if you're over like that it's really difficult to breathe and if you're too like that then you'll be fast asleep in a couple of minutes so we just tried to keep the back a little straighter just so we can breathe and we close our eyes and we do that because most of our distraction their most powerful sense is the eye so if you're sitting like that and you're just watching your breath and somebody moves over here then your mind is and then gone so we close our eyes so we don't get distracted from the outside world and it means so we can go inside and that's where we want to be so that's meditation just sit comfortably get your back straight close your eyes put your arms comfortable put your feet down on the ground and then just watch the breath coming in and going home coming in and going out a thought will come it's okay now I'm thinking now come back watching the breath come in and going home that's meditation now tell me you can't do it because the key thing is sit down so you can all sit down yeah the other thing is to close your eyes you can all close your eyes and the final thing is breathe you can all breathe so then you've got all the ingredients you need to do meditation so you can't say I can't do it you can see it you can close your eyes you can breathe so you could do it all yeah and the more you do it the longer it will be before a thought distracts you if will do it now for a couple of minutes and thoughts will come but if you do it tomorrow again a little less thoughts or coming each day you do it less and less thoughts come which means you become more and more and more relaxed and even when thoughts are coming at least you're sitting down quietly your eyes are closed and you're not looking at the screen or you're not looking at your phone at least that that's the least of it that he's taking you away from your screens yeah for five or ten minutes so that even at the worst that's what you can be doing but the more you do it the more those thoughts will just slow down and just won't distract you and the more that you'll be able to focus on the breath yeah so then let's give it a try and then and then from tomorrow you can everybody and I'm becoming manly houses just to check that everybody do it at different times that dude in the morning as well yeah the morning is particularly when you first start because if you do it now when you go home everything that's happened during the day is going to be going round in your head so first it's going to be really difficult so when you do it in the morning when you get up before you look at that phone before you put the television on before you talk to anybody just get up and then sit down and then just focus on the breath do it for five minutes yeah and do it each morning and you will be the one that benefits from it not me I do my own practice you'll do your practice you will benefit so then let's just try now sit there and put your feet flat on the floor because if you cross them a bit then they might go to sleep in that and then you don't want any distraction so just get really comfortable and put your homes wherever you want your arms it's going to be the most comfortable for the next couple of minutes I know these armchairs but maybe you can sit forward a little bit yeah okay so then now just lightly close your eyes and we're going to start by doing these five six seven breaths so we'll do three of these just to calm you down so breathe in through your nose and hold and breathe out through your mouth breathing through your nose and hold and breathe out through your mouth breathe in through your nose and hold and breathe out through your mouth and now breathe normally and don't force the breath just let the breath find its own rhythm and just focus on the breath as it flows into the nose and flows back out again just leave your attention on that for a moment and if you get distracted by thoughts it's okay just bring your awareness back to watching your breath you you you you you you you you you you okay so just very very slowly start to open your eyes but look down on the floor in front of you and just sit there a moment looking down at the floor you and then slowly start to raise your eyes up great so that's it you've all meditated so next time anybody asks you have you meditated now you can open your own if they are regularly that you can't okay once is not regular so when we open our eyes we open our eyes looking down on the floor yeah because if we're nice and calm and peaceful and relaxed no and then we just open our eyes then all that calmness can disappear really quickly so you just look down on the floor and just gently open your eyes and then just slowly lift your head and that way you'll be able to keep the calmness inside okay so this practice is good to do every day in the mornings particularly but if you are getting a little bit stressed he's good to go off and do this just find a quiet place even the toilet it doesn't matter where you do it somewhere where it's peaceful inquire – nobody will disturb you it's okay so a major part of mindful awareness is getting to know ourself and that's what I was saying earlier on about not criticizing and judging we're not controlling we're not looking outside there we're getting to know us you know the only person in the whole world that you can ever know is yourself you can't know anybody else you might be married to them for 60 years but you won't know them you'll only know what they tell you and they'll only know what you tell them a little dicus deepest darkest secrets we keep to ourselves so we can only know ourselves yeah so using mindful awareness we can really get to know ourselves get to understand ourselves you know what are our thoughts our feelings and our emotions why do I act in such a way and how can I bring a positive change into my life those questions we can only ask ourselves you can't go and ask somebody else they won't know so we use mindful awareness to get to know ourselves so what should we do if we're starting to feel overwhelmed or anxious or stressed at work what we should do is stop yeah so s means stop what you're doing for a moment and go to a quiet place and sit down such as the daughter but it doesn't have to be you know outside somewhere quiet you know anyway if you drive go and sit in your car I have a lot of guided meditation practices on an app called insight timer and many people say to me or in my work break I go sit in my car and meditate using the app it's okay yeah I mean it doesn't matter where you do it as long as you're quiet and nobody's going to disturb you the car is fine so s means to stop what you're doing for a moment find a quiet place and just sit down tea means take those three calming breaths of five six seven breath by doing that it'll bring you into the present moment and then the ohi's just observe what is going on what are my thoughts what are my feelings what emotions do I have at the moment you know really just observe what is happening with you again don't judge if you are feeling you know irritable or angry or would have don't judge that it's okay just acknowledge that I've got it except that you've got it and don't try to fight against it yeah and then think of the best way to help yourself through it again you know we can have a long list of things I have there like reading walking having a cup of tea because green tea and taking the rest all these things but you know you know yourself what do you need what's going to help you I can't tell you because we're all different and you can't even tell yourself I mean you can't say now okay yeah whenever that happens I'm going to do this because our emotions changed from moment to moment their feelings are changing our thoughts are always changing you know our bodies are changing everything is always moving nothing is permanent so we can't even set for ourselves I'll do this we have to look on a moment-by-moment basis if I'm feeling stressed and anxious now what do I need right now and maybe it's just I need just to sit quietly a moment and just think maybe so just need to go outside and get some fresh air or just look around at the beautiful mountains whatever works for you so observe what's going on and don't criticize and don't judge it just accepted and acknowledged and try to find a way to help yourself through it and then the P is then proceed and you can go back to doing what you're doing but this time you'll be doing it in a mindful way you'll be present in the moment yeah so that's what you should be doing when you starting to get anxious and stressed and fearful and burnt out and overwhelmed just stop don't think okay tonight I'll deal with it because tonight is too late when you're feeling it stop and deal with it stop what you're doing take the three calming breaths observe what's going on help yourself through it and then proceed yeah am i doing for time cause usually I talk too much people start falling to sleep in a minute if you start to fall asleep then we're gonna do yoga okay to wake you up so don't fall asleep okay another practice that we can be doing is one called cherishing yourself and cherishing others so again if you're feeling stressed or overwhelmed you know when we're feeling stressed we do judge ourselves we are the worst with ourselves you know somebody makes a mistake and we say it's okay okay don't worry it's only a mistake we make the same mistake and oh my god then what is wrong with me oh god you're always making a mistake oh you're mad you're stupid we say awful things to ourselves and actually by saying those things to yourself you're actually putting yourself down you're actually losing your self compassion and the more that you say you're stupid the more stupid you'll become so we should be really careful about the way we do talk to ourselves so here we are cherishing our selves we have to cherish everybody but we have to start by cherishing our selves sure I mean like liking ourselves yeah so if you're feeling stressed and overwhelmed try this practice so again find a quiet place sit down bring your awareness to your breath so you can do this again the five six seven breath and just start to relax and feel calm and then as you breathe so on the breath breathing in you silently say I have compassion for myself or you can say I cherished myself don't say I love myself they'll be the wrong thing I have compassion for myself here and as you breathe out you say I have compassion for others so like I was just saying the more you say whatever you say to yourself the more you become that the more you say to yourself I have compassion for myself and the more compassion you will have for yourself and the more that you'll allow yourself to make mistakes we are human beings there is no such thing as pie I don't know who invented that word it's a stupid word there is nothing in this world that is perfect nothing ever will be everything is constantly changing how can it be perfect if it was perfect for that second the next second it's not so it's just a bad word and really it just forces us to try to do something we can't do we should take that word it's the Bhutanese word for perfect see what a great language you have there's a Hindi where J what's the Hindi word for perfect the wrist because I asked that question before and somebody said anyways forget it and if there's not a Bhutanese word for it then fantastic you've got a great language so the more that you say to yourself I have compassion for myself the more you will have compassion for yourself the more that you'll be caring for yourself the better you'll be able to speak to yourself when you have compassion for yourself you will help yourself yeah so I have compassion for myself but we can't be selfish so we have to say on the out-breath we have compassion for everybody yeah that's the Buddhist way so when you're finished again slowly open your eyes look down in the floor and just gently introduce yourself back so what you're doing is you're caring for yourself yeah you're having a bit of love and attention towards yourself we pay a lot of attention to other people where sometimes we don't pay the right amount attention to ourselves and we sure do so if I doing this I have compassion for myself the more you do it the more you will have compassion for yourself and when you feel like you've got compassion for yourself you'll calm down that feeling of being overwhelmed and stressed will go away okay so mindful awareness that were this is tea green tea green tea excuse me okay so mindful awareness so all these I'm going to go through some practices mindful awareness practices that will help you focus feel less stress and be more calm yeah so when you're at work take regular breaks so you shouldn't be doing more than one hour without takin a break because the more that you're looking at that screen the more you're affecting your eyes and the way the screen flickers is again working against your brain the screen and your brain are not best of friends and if you're going to spend more than one hour looking at the screen you're going to start to affect your brain so we shouldn't do more than one hour before taking the little break I'm not saying take a big brain just take your couple of minutes pray have a glass of water just walk around the office if you're walking around the office don't gossip because that just loses the point of the break and go outside takes fresh air just a short break if you keep taking these short breaks what you're doing is you're relaxing your amygdala so it means you're going to stay focused it means you're not going to get stressed if you just keep pushing and pushing and pushing I teach meditation in company in Chandigarh I go in and teach their employees meditation and sometimes they can't come because they're in a three hour meeting what can they talk about for three hours I mean for me that's just mind blowing if they did three hours of meditation then yeah okay great but three hours of just talking in a meeting and that what you need to stay focused you can bet your life after the first time for now and they've switched off and then they just sit there for two hours and they come back what was that about I don't remember so take regular breaks because by taking the regular rakes you're going to calm your amygdala you're going to be thinking from here you're going to be more creative more productive and do a check in with yourself so it's a bit like we did here you know when we start it off so do a body scan so just lightly scan down your body we're looking for tension it's another thing that we don't pay attention to our bodies so you are sitting there on the chair that's probably not good for you and you're looking at this screen and you're focusing on and you don't move and then when you go to movies my shoulder hurts or when you get home at night and you think I've got a bad neck in the back back so before you get to that point of having a bad neck or a bad back just every now and again scan your body these are any tension feel I feel tension in my shoulders if you can then just work the tension out move that's another thing about taking the one hour break because you'll probably find I know so I've written four books and I know when I get involved in writing the book sometimes I just so focused on that and then when I go to move a move or for two hours and then I have to move around so we've got to be careful so if you take a break every hour at least it's moving you and so have a look check for your body just quickly scan down your body and see if there's any tension if there is then work that tension away and also look at your thoughts are they negative are they positive again don't judge them just accept them you know when we're looking at our thoughts we're just engaging in the present moment we're just bringing ourselves back that's what all this is about keep bringing yourself back into the present moment one thing I didn't tell you was that we cannot be present in the moment be mindful 24/7 it is impossible so like I said I've been doing it for years but I can't stay present in the moment we have the ability to plan we have the ability to have we saw mind he's gonna keep popping backwards and forwards so we have to keep bringing it back present in the moment so if we were animals like a dog so dog doesn't have that ability so dogs are very mindful you won't see a dog wake up in the morning stretch and look at his watch and think oh 12 o'clock I'll bite somebody somebody walked by them they just bite them they're very mindful also children children are mindful there's a whiteboard there's a crayon Wow and then they just do it they just crane on the wall they just draw on the wall again it's mindful they haven't planned to do it they're not doing it out of mischief he's just that the wall appeared a crane appeared and then well I'll draw so children are mindful but we lose that when we have when we start planning for our 5 year 10 year 15-year plan yeah or when we start thinking back of that wonderful time we handle the horrible time we had so we can't be 24/7 mindful so we do have to keep bringing ourselves back into the present moment and that's what these practices are all about so stress release so focus on what is stressing you out so you know what is stressing you out or maybe you don't so then just stop for a moment and focus on what is stressing me out what is making me so stressed so then take a few deep breaths like we've been doing the five six seven breath and then breathe out the stress so you know a sigh so when I was a kid and I used to side my mom you know don't sign but actually science now that was my mother but science now is saying that a sigh is to release tension in our body and that's why we have it no they didn't have my mother's you didn't know and she wouldn't care anyway but you know so when you're stressed just take a deep breath in and just let it out and if you try it when you breathe in your shoulders come on yet when you sigh everything drops just fine so it works so when you're feeling stressed just do that do a few of those I mean be careful where you do if you're doing it walking down the road people think you've gone mad yeah but you know do it quietly oh this is a big one so we told these days that we must be multitasker and people put it on their CVS their resumes yeah I'm a multitasker that's only if I was the boss and somebody came to me and said I'm a multitasker I'll say goodbye because you are never gonna get full productivity from a multitasker a multitasker means I'm not doing anything properly I'm doing lots of things but none of it is properly I'm not giving a hundred percent to anything you know there's only a hundred percent and you can only give a hundred percent to one thing if I'm trying to do four things you're only giving 25 percent so that means that work you're doing it's not good enough so and what you're doing is putting your mind under huge amount of pressure remember I said you can only think of one thing at once so you're going I'm thinking if something you don't think thinking this and then of course your mind something has to give and it's your mind that will give don't be a multitasker if your boss asks you to be a multitasker send him to me I'll give you my email at the end so sorry then he'll hear me or she'll hear me so you're putting yourself under a huge amount of pressure if you can't finish your job okay then put it to one side and then start something else and then if you can't finish put it to one side but don't try to do because a bit of that because you cannot give a hundred percent like that it's impossible and what you're doing is burning yourself and you are not being productive and why the boss is asking you because I don't know but you're not helping him you're not helping the company by being a multitasker and you are certainly putting yourself under huge amount of stress yeah be a single task person be a hundred percent person so have a gratitude break so just stop every now and again and just think of three things that you're grateful for they don't have to be big things they can be the I'm grateful that you know I don't have my headache today or I'm grateful that somebody smiled at me on the way into work or I'm grateful work is about to finish that's a good one whatever it is it doesn't matter if it's big or if it's small when we think of things that we're grateful for dopamine is released into our brain that's our happy drug that's what makes us feel nice and calm and happy eating lots of chocolate all served us there but it's not good for the old girls come on so this is a much better way of doing it so just think of three things and calm yourself down just become relaxed and become grateful and you'll become happy you can just do that they've done studies and actually at school when I teach in schools I was set up a gratitude wall and they have post-it notes and they write things on and just reading what other people are grateful for also releases dopamine in your brain so if you're not grateful for anything ask the person next to you and you can share in their gratitude okay so just think of three things to be grateful for so visualize so visualize so if you're stressed so say that I'm I'm really sad today so just place your eyes a moment and just be sure what would it feel like not to be sad what you didn't again he's taking your fixation away from being sad and you're putting it on something else so now the sadness is lost these power if you're angry just stop a moment visualize what would it feel like what would my body feel like what would my mind feel I wonder my emotions feel like if I wasn't angry it's a great way if you're getting irritated with somebody just think what would it be like not to be because just by thinking about that then you're going to calm yourself down just by imagining that I'm happy then the dopamine will go in your brain you'll start to relax you start to feel happy even though before you wasn't so just whatever you are visualize the opposite of that if you're sad visualize happily feel lonely Vishal is not being lonely if you're stressed visualize what would it feel like not to be stressed you know we can bring up emotions in our minds just by thinking just by imagination you know just think of something really happy now and then that happiness comes doesn't it that happy emotion is there even though you know it may be there I'm going to win lots of money and you think I can have been lots of money and then you suddenly feel great and then you open your eyes and you're poor but I mean it brings up that emotion in your body so visualize the obviously to what you are and do a daily check in with yourself just check in with your thoughts your feelings so this is at the end of the day so what happens usually at the end of the day if you reach the end as they thank God I turn off my computer or laptop and I get up and I just go home what you're doing this thing whatever stress whatever tension whatever has gone on during the day you're just taking that home with you so don't do that so when you turn off the computer just sit there a moment and just reflect back over the day now people say we learn from our experiences that is not true if that was true we've never made the same mistake and we keep making the same mistakes so we don't learn experiences we learn from reflecting on our experiences if we reflect on something it goes into our long-term memory so at the end of the day when you turn off the computer and the laptop just sit there a moment and just reflect back over the day what worked today because if you look back everything here this worked and that was good and that work you're reinforcing it which means it will become a habit and become a part of you and then look at the things that didn't work I think yeah that didn't work out maybe next time I'll try this way because the next time it happens you'll try a different way we're reflecting we're learning from the experience we've had during the day yeah and then just take a couple of breaths and then go home and this time you'll be going home and you won't be dragging work with you because you'd have dealt with it this is such a great practice you know some people they go home and it's all going through their head and they can't relax because somebody says something to them or this happened or I made that mistake so deal with it before you go home just have a look just reflect reflect on your experiences that way you'll learn from your experiences and you'll leave work at work and then you can go home work is work home is home they shouldn't be the same yeah we should have this work-life balance you shouldn't be work work so how can we do mindful awareness coming to the unanswered and fall asleep gesture so how can we do mindfulness throughout the day so we can do the mindful awareness practice the breathing practice that I told you yeah we can do mindful eating walking anything we can do mindfully I'll say to you now give you more homework one bit of homework right do your meditation tomorrow morning second bit of homework and I will be checking is when you clean your teeth tomorrow morning do it mindfully so when you pick up the toothbrush feel it in your hand first what does it feel like when you squeeze the toothpaste out what does it feel like just touch them on your teeth before you brush your teeth what are the sensations in my mouth and just feel you've brushing your teeth and then at the end just close your eyes and just feel all the sensations in your mouth you'll think to yourself wow that's the first time I've ever cleaned my teeth because what we usually do and maybe we look you know we're moving around dog yeah and thinking and planning and later on I'm gonna do this and tonight I love that so I mean do it mindfully because by doing things mindful is being in this present in the moment it's making us aware of what is happening in the world we miss all these things it's when you're eating your food you know you eat so quickly and these days we've got the mobile phone in this hand eating like that or we watching television or we're gossiping you know but in India you go to many the Indians are very fascinated at the moment with their mobile phone you go to many restaurants and be like for young people sitting gone out for a meal and every one of them will be looking at their screen and they won't be talking to each other nod and if they're sending each other messages on whatsapp or anything but anyway so we can eat mindfully just chew it just the flavors leave the flavors in your mouth taste those flavors whatever you do try to do once a day something mindfully really focusing on it if this is task you hate doing so if you like I don't know you hate washing dishes yeah and I've got a wash to try I hate washing dishes and I hope and then you it just seems never-ending this issues they're not going down because we hate doing it but if you focus on doing it the water and the washing and there and you get into and then oh it's finished so particularly jobs that you really don't like they focus on doing them dill mindfully they will go so much quicker it's your mind that is making that a horrible job there's nothing horrible about washing dishes I mean you may not enjoy doing it but if you just focus on doing it it will go very quickly yeah so try to do something each day mindfully but tomorrow it's clean your teeth down okay and actually engage in mindful speaking and listening that's what I was talking about really listen to somebody talking to you don't listen to a little bit of it and then think oh yeah no again so or even interrupt them by giving your answer let them finish I definitely teach this one in schools to the school teachers because children don't have the vocabulary they're something sometimes major job so the children don't have the vocabulary so sometimes they're saying something but they're actually trying to say something else so when the teachers are mindfully engaging they can pick up on that and you can pick up on it so try mindful speaking and mindful listening let people finish and then decide to say yeah mindfully and so like I was saying just scan have scanned your body check in with your thoughts and your feelings do every now and again it's just bringing us back into the present moment put little reminders if you have a computer here or if you have on your fridge just put a little post in and breathe and when you sit oh yeah just that brings you back into the present moment so wherever you go put little post-it notes so then you see them and then breathe yeah it brings you back into the present moment so you can do the breathing awareness exercise of the stop the five six seven breath cherishing yourselves try those practices out so don't take your breath for granted yeah just the breath is the your best friend when it comes to mindfulness yeah and it is your best friend because it's always going to be with you so try to do your mindfulness throughout the day when somebody said to me that I can't be mindful my phone is ringing all day so I said to him every time it rings before you answer I go no answer so then the phone now ringing isn't a nuisance to him it's become his practice so if the phone rings 20 times during the day and 20 times he's brought back to the present moment and by also doing that breathing when he talks to the person he's with that person his prison because he's took the breath so try to find something you do regularly and put it into a practice like that so maybe every time you put your laptop on order every time you look at your phone so every time there's a notification being just breathe before you quickly look it'll be rubbish you know that it'll be somebody's food on Facebook somebody's outside a shopping mall or something oh well done you've made it all the way through to the end that's so now we have

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